Sry I called you an 8
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize