Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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