: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My room smells like vodka and shame
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
