ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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