i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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