Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
