So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
