Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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