bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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