I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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