is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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