i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
