So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
