You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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