my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
