the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
