Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
