Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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