Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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