Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
