if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
