Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
