I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
