I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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