Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
