pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
