I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
