So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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