I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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