i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
