U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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