I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
