That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
