what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He felt like a one man threesome
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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