It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
