im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
