White coat. Heels.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
