he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize