And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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