I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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