i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
