The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need a beard to bite.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
