I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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