i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
