Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
