this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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