i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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