Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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