Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize