Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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