Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
