Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
