i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
