in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
