I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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