drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize