Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
