sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
