spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
