Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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