she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
