Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
