we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
