Fuck appropriateness.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
