apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
