So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
