just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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