Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
