There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
