After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize