Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
