look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
