I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Its about making memories worth repressing
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
