Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
