Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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