That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
