There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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